Blogs web diaries

These web diaries were written by Magne during a-ha’s winter 2000/2001 tour and are ancient history, but they are fun to revisit from time to time.

Note: The web diary links no longer work and have been removed; the titles remain in a case they jog a memory and/or the articles ever come back online for updating.

Last Updated: November 29, 2020

  • My summer of sloth…
  • The Russian Detail Department
  • The Regular Snaps Department
  • The Foot Tourist Department
  • A (kind of) Christmas-card (from Magne)
  • December 2, 2000
  • December 1, 2000
  • November 30, 2000
  • November 29, 2000
  • November 28, 2000
  • November 27, 2000

myspace blogs

Magne joined MySpace in April 2006, and immediately began posting blogs containing poetry, ramblings, topical thoughts and even just strings of letters or punctuation. In October of 2006, Magne’s MySpace blog was voted in the Top 10 music blogs.

Also noteworthy: Magne wrote a blog poem for Anna Nicole Smith on MySpace, which received the attention of Norwegian media:

Fan discussion about Magne’s MySpace blogs can be found here: West of the Moon Forum 

EDIT: Unfortunately since the MySpace platform was updated in summer 2013, all the old member blogs were lost, including Magne’s. Below is an archive listing of dates, titles and excerpts of the entries that serves only as a reference to those who might want to remember a specific blog. Thanks to Sue and Caterina for compiling the links and titles; I added the dates and short quotes for the purpose of this page.

EDIT 2: Thanks to Caterina, who saved a PDF version of all of Magne’s blogs, and to Magne for giving me permission to post them here.

2006 || 2007 || 2008 || 2009

2012 | | 2011 | | 2009 | | 2008 | | 2007 | | 2006 | | older

blog posts 2012

02/06/2012 A machine made of Hype?


Heart the new amazing Apparatjik ‘Do It Myself’ on the hype machine!

01/26/2012 Apparatjik’s new album


Listen to amazing sounding 24bit FLAC version of Apparatjik’s new album.

available to download for FREE on

blog posts 2011

02/02/2011 The Apparatjik Light Space Modulator


Apparatjik has been invited by the Nationalgalerie Berlin to present the collective’s first large-scale project in Germany in March 2011.

blog posts 2009

10/27/2009 purple prose


the wordsymphony is now finished and currently in glorious purple vinyl-production.
the print editions are also close to being done, and will be signed and shipped shortly.
shortly, as in during the month of november.
thank you for your patience.

09/08/2009 lust, want and lasting enjoyment


maybe you’re not too impressed with my output on the apparatjik channel yet, what with my big announcement and all…but one day it may just be worth the struggle. i think. my job is to confuse. and i do it so well even i am in a daze.

09/08/2009 last will and testament


so here it is, honeys; i’m outta here. not to disappear off the radar completely of course, (don’t get your hopes up!), but to create havoc somewhere else. 09.09.09 here i come.

08/12/2009 hey babaluba


having survived another a-ha album (the cat only has 9 lives)it’s fair to say that i will try to pay more attention to my own space again

04/05/2009 so you can read again, – so read, you can better


doublespeak: twice as good

04/05/2009 neutron blast


thank you, city
for grinding us down

04/05/2009 as we hover


our instruments not
quite powerful enough

04/05/2009 as neutron


we hover
just shiny metal
outside unbroken glass

04/05/2009 so yes is marginally better than no?


the original question was; have i read finnegan’s wake? yes and no.
i read in it constantly, but i have not ‘read it’.

04/02/2009 no, the answer is yes!
04/02/2009 the answer is no
04/01/2009 cattermole hill, ex-mountain of flesh


was reared up by stress and sank under strain

03/10/2009 if I can’t imagine what we were


and explorers will end up on the verge
of amazing discovery
back at the original feeling

03/10/2009 it’s alive


i don’t beat know your own soft skin
how until it hardens to write

02/07/2009 if you are reading this


you have been very patient

blog posts 2008

10/15/2008 baryon minority


physical separation
can be mathematically explained

but that doesn’t do much
about the pain

09/23/2008 if by living


if re-incarnation teach me
of the things i never got

surely spending time with you
would do the same

09/23/2008 the force that through the green fuse drives the flower


no sense not thinking now
of all things that go
into being here

09/23/2008 oldplay

09/23/2008 hinterland


behind the forest rolls
in verdant waves toward the sea

yet further still, like frozen surf
the mountains stand at ease;

08/30/2008 bedouine


and i, who have no herd
except when i can’t sleep

08/30/2008 help the elderly remember by forcing the young to forget


yet further still, like frozen surf
the mountains stand at ease;
coagulated will

08/30/2008 read me real


sein blick ist vom vorübergehen der stäbe
so müd geworden, daß er nichts mehr hält.

06/19/2008 farmfrow’s foul flair for that flayfell foxfetor


gone never to return the same
coming back but believing the same to be different
always leaving for the last time – again and again
there is madness in the method and no real method to be mad about

05/17/2008 full on


i think tomorrow is also the day the new magne f cd is out in the uk
people are scrambling for the doors of recordshops, screaming & banging their litlle fists…
at one point I will just have to let them out, i guess.

04/11/2008 pre orders post festum


for the digitally inclined there is now a pre order of the new cd possible
this time there is no hand- or foot-painted covers, i swear!

03/31/2008 bad santa


however, giving my songs away for free does not mean they now belong to everyone else – and not to me.
i still intend to do exactly what i want when i want. call me old-fashioned.

let me reiterate the obvious: the free download was for you. the vinyl exclusively for those of you interested enough. the music is for everyone. the cd for anyone who wants to buy it. are we clear ?

02/08/2008 watch me dance



02/01/2008 much ado about something


(all you need to do to show your love is buy my bandmates beer afterwards,
but not all 50 of you, please – we have a gig the next day)

01/26/2008 i love the wrongness of it


the promise of another magne f concert in the uk
may be all the bad news most of you can take on a sunday
…but the albert hall?!?

shurely schome mischtake.

01/24/2008 nothing comes to those who wait


just don’t go to expecting some kind of reward.
especially not some song i just finished mixing tonight or anything.
ok – the beard may be greying at the edges, but do i look like mr. claus to you?

01/24/2008 ok…so now it’s up


rather painful watching if you ask me-
with my uncensored self so shamelessly exposed

the mitigating factor is of course that the pain only lasts 30 secs (like most things)
only to substituted by a new even harsher one! (again, like most…)

01/23/2008 pay peanuts get monkeys


here’s the better part of the world’s work-force glued to their computer-screens
(notice i said better, as in better, not as in ‘larger’ – i’m not completely delusional)
trying to catch the world’s fastest painter posied and ready, brush in hand…
all that human resource gone to wasteville
how will we repay them the time lost –
oh, we won’t?

ouuuh we’re sooooo sooorrry….come back later

01/23/2008 how do you like it so far…?


so a bit of internet channel-swapping is recommended here.
personally i am looking forward to sleeping through the whole event
wake me when I am done!

01/23/2008 hello, I must be going – or; quantum leapfrogs – always ahead of schedule again!


why are my sentences uncharacteristically characteristic?
because i was up until 05.30 this morning painting.
so that you can watch me do things i have already done, that’s why.
so that you can watch something coming into being that already exists.

the old birth control discussion all over again

01/21/2008 better broken english than broken hearts


the reason this confirmation comes your way 2 weeks ahead of time is that the collector’s vinyl-edition sold out way quicker than expected,
and there is a waiting list of ferocious fans who would love to take your place in the queue if you hesitate.

01/15/2008 new magne f album


why waste time chasing strange ears around with you guys already here?
you have found me. You have supported me (stranger than fiction, and for reasons known only to yourselves). This record’s for you.

01/06/2008 word war 3


love the fact that any message i write is regarded by some as potential poetry
beauty in the eye of the beholder and all that…well, that only makes you more beautiful!

01/02/2008 outside the pale there is colour…


time to get to work now
gather round my friendlies…

blog posts 2007

12/14/2007 anticlimax


i will be kicking off the new year off with some news on the musical front especially for y’all. you should probably start looking backwards to it already.

11/06/2007 I’m leaving on a jet plane


any engineer would tell you this bird’s flying days are over,
but I beg to differ;
I like to look at it as an object which has yet to realize its full potential

10/28/2007 who will stitch together


who will turn
these fragments of my life
into legibility?

10/28/2007 I am not human


I walk among you, recognised
but virtually unknown
famously celebrated
but seen by some

10/28/2007 because eyes can see


because eyes know
because these eyes have memory
without it, it’s just energy

10/28/2007 reverse psychology


for it is not for us to know
what started long before
and ends well after

10/28/2007 as your story bleeds into mine


as we piece together moments
into mosaic dreams-
made from broken vases

10/28/2007 Toussaint


so if my history
is of no importance
my story
may one day be

10/28/2007 self referendum


this sentence contains nine syllables

10/28/2007 another good verbivorious tip


he is me
but I am not
him yet

10/28/2007 literati come forth!


you are now
and those other
are running elsewhere

10/28/2007 one unharmful gem


I’m a toothier, inhumane wit meanie.

10/26/2007 you’re quick, I’ll give you that!


what cd?
oh – THAT cd!

10/14/2007 shyly, slyly


me? i am just an emotional striptease. you knew that.

10/11/2007 the restless are getting native


the new magne f album is nearly completed. it will be released….probably sometime after xmas.

09/04/2007 Guys & Dolls


on behalf of the many perfected versions of myself; thx!

08/14/2007 be my seamstress


you may soon all officially add ‘installation artist’ to your respective resumées.

06/20/2007 got myself a cryin, talkin, sleepin, walkin…


in case you were wondering – the dolls keep coming, the sick grin on my face ever widening. so many me’s, so little time…

06/04/2007 at your mercy


yes, mags is full of hot air.
the ego has landed.
blow me up scotty

05/11/2007 a doll’s house


now since I know there is sometimes a difference between thinking something and doing it (uh…there is, isn’t there?), this message is to remind the undecided to jump in.

05/06/2007 all I need


all I need
is this thermos…
and this chair

05/05/2007 a doll the size of myspace


now get going and forget this crap about having no talent – talent is a form of intelligence…are you calling yourself stupid?!?

05/05/2007 are we clear?!


in order to avoid even more confusion; anything from six inches to six feet is welcome

05/04/2007 invitation to participation


This is definitely an offer you can refuse. As the smarter ones among you no doubt have figured out, this is merely a clever ploy to make you all work for me for free.

03/29/2007 n th wr gnst bbbl, vwls r th frst t g



03/27/2007 book of vowels, verse 1


I e ou ou i y a

03/27/2007 book of consonants, verse 1


ths chmcl bnd

03/27/2007 s ptt, s a a o (ntnmcll: I ay aao you ay ptt)


smthng xtrrdnr

03/04/2007 infall


forget sea & sand,
forget sky and ground
unless; looking at the sky
you understand the sea

02/27/2007 salvus


in this maze I call my own
there’s no place left to go-
no place I haven’t been

02/15/2007 I mistook myself


I mistook myself
for someone I once knew
I’ve been wrong
about a lot of things
one of which was you

02/15/2007 split infinitives


like it or not
who gives a fuck
I don’t know how or why
but if you wish to know
you’ll have to really try

02/12/2007 for the man who wants to be somebody


you only look
for things that you can use
and then concoct
something wildly different
out of what you got

02/10/2007 like the white


like these hands
your shape is all they remember

02/09/2007 to put oneself in a place


our loss is losing you
holding up a mirror
to our ugliness

02/08/2007 valor in a wheelchair


but secrets will reveal
what time won’t tell
tedium succeed
where ferver once failed

01/25/2007 verbatim;


I was monster
merely minion

01/25/2007 If you need another friend


If you need another friend
ask, don’t steal
if you do not understand
what I am saying
think, don’t feel

01/22/2007 I am still talking to you


I am still talking to you
even though you’ve gone away
every day
I talk to you
I still think of what to say

01/22/2007 our lives interwoven


our lives interwoven
our features interfaced
our voices in unison
our dreams interlaced

01/19/2007 oh yes you can


you can catch it
as it comes towards you
catch it as it moves away

01/19/2007 cough cough..danger, warning; art-project!

01/12/2007 I despise


no fuss nor strain
no pressure or pain
free from
unbearable tenderness

01/11/2007 subterfugere


you will stand your ground
if pushed
but underneath
you flee

01/11/2007 undo undone


finish the end
and be done

01/10/2007 silence is not personal (1)


silence is not personal
we just fill it
with our own insecurities

01/10/2007 silence is not personal (2)


silence is not personal
we just fill it
with our own insecurities

01/03/2007 wishing you all


wishing you all
had a merry kizmaz

blog posts 2006

12/05/2006 the bigger you get


the more you believe
the less it is real

12/05/2006 oh healthy forest


oh healthy forest
your cousins are sick
all over the world

12/05/2006 I loved you


I knew you
while we were still strangers

12/05/2006 tv learns from you


we all battle demons
whatever their names

12/05/2006 we all wrestle with corruption


we all wrestle with corruption
one way or another we all fall short
of expectation

12/05/2006 I can draw the line wherever I want


you don’t know
the half of it
and if you think you do
it is only because
your mind is only matched
by your
mechanisms of self-defense

12/05/2006 it is looking at old photographs


it is looking at old photographs
that we see who we really are

12/05/2006 thoughts are like masturbation


thoughts are like masturbation
writing like making babies

12/05/2006 seal this house


broken silences
like shattered china

12/05/2006 I can’t do right for doing wrong


opposite to her
I can’t do wrong for doing right
even as I try
with all my might

12/05/2006 the stoned group


hide behind your alias
all you want
it will not make the rest of you

12/05/2006 and just like that


the preachers have
installed credit card terminals
for easier collection

12/05/2006 would not blame the shark


would not blame the shark
for doing what it was born to do
would you?

12/05/2006 how she takes refuge in herself


how she is hurt and brave
in the face of truth
for she believed love
when it told her to wait
and so she waits

12/05/2006 why complain?


akk, oh vey, phew, oh lordie
and the like-
it’s in vain
unless you are willing
to change

12/05/2006 the beginning is over


the beginning is over
the fade out
soon to commence

12/05/2006 winter has turned


winter has turned
its back to the sun
and a blind eye
to the spring that will come

12/05/2006 as long as you remember


as long as you are you
I don’t care about the rest

12/05/2006 the khoros


be cursed, Cassandra
so that even you (or I)
shall doubt that this is real

12/05/2006 nowhere


if you want to be in the middle of nowhere
this is where to do it

12/05/2006 nothing


we can learn to live with

12/05/2006 no one


no one
holds my silence
like you do
no one

12/05/2006 the bitch is back


hard to know if it was your high expectations or my great(er) disillusionment
with myself that made me stay away/come back (your choice)

11/16/2006 vow of silence


shhh (wow!)

10/23/2006 danger & desire


begin to believe
your doubt
of what’s never been

10/23/2006 of all the mindfucks


of all the songs
I never wrote
you were always
destined for success

10/23/2006 made popular


my secret
is something you tell
only one person at a time

10/15/2006 my ovaries


my ovaries
are merely in my head
but the worry
of a barren time to come
plays part in my desire
to nurture every line

10/14/2006 rudolph steiner


self-importance knows no boundary

10/14/2006 my testicles


but we shall only know the glory
of the few combinations we pursued

10/09/2006 if I changed


if I changed
everything about you
and turned you into
someone else
would I love you the same?

10/09/2006 what am I going to do


you have seen
a version of the truth of me
but does the truth
have versions?

10/09/2006 no more rhyme


and stop pandering
your thoughts
are important enough without it

10/09/2006 the first babystep


every road from here
leads away

10/09/2006 do not make the mistake


do not make the mistake
of asking what I mean

10/09/2006 leave the bible


but neither of us have
the stomach or strength
to reinvent their purpose
to suit our lives

10/09/2006 how can such clumsy moves


how can the appropriate words
be so excruciatingly difficult
to find

10/09/2006 I wrote your neckline


I read your face as landscape
not portrait
a place to see, somewhere to be

10/09/2006 I don’t know what you mean


giving in
is an integral part
of every fight

10/09/2006 back on the scene of the crime


as I look out across
the gray slab of water
in crossfilter morning light
a wingless muse calls my name

10/09/2006 who convinced you


if I could beat sense
into a head
yours would be
my first choice

10/02/2006 you are a poem


you are a caterpillar of wish

09/27/2006 you have bruises


If I ever see your words within a five-mile radius, I will seek a restraining order.

09/27/2006 your south sea skin


a pocketful of change
for a lifetime of chaste

09/27/2006 want to make you smile on buses


I want to make you smile on buses
and laugh out loud
with strangers looking on
to have a fucking fit
in the middle of a crowd

09/25/2006 the kiss of truth


for nothing lies
more convincingly
than a syrupy tongue

09/25/2006 so you read


but art is like a child, my dear
faithful to its own truth

09/25/2006 when is it over


our past has changed colour
so many times now
and we have wasted
every chance to meet

09/24/2006 lovenot on lycon quer sall


sweet ruin,
love not only conquers all
it shatters what it touches

09/24/2006 lose the map


lose the map
we’d get lost
a lot faster

09/24/2006 they should make a statue of your mind


they ought to build a church
a congregation for your thoughts

09/06/2006 re-open the door


this is you, this is yours
you are home

08/27/2006 redux


guard your heart against hope
take your mind off the mess you’re in

08/27/2006 call me old-fashioned


…but I did appreciate
so many of you coming to the shows!

08/23/2006 the other me is having more fun than I am


your gucci eyes
match your wallpaper smile

08/23/2006 how can you miss me if I never go away


(illegal to import ‘tsks’ – and rightly so…except if you buy an old piano – in which case it is your solemn duty to play something beautiful enough to make the elephant forgive)

08/23/2006 the native flute (no relation)


your strength
is you remember
that I forget

08/23/2006 why is it kudos are quicker than comments?


your world colonized
by the empire of me

08/23/2006 seriously now


the tattoo on my soul is you

08/23/2006 one more for friendships (passing in the night)


the things we love destroying most
are things we helped create

08/23/2006 and then tomorrow…


and anyway I am a better human being with a hangover

08/22/2006 make a world to suit my mood


there is a rent
in your world
leading to

08/21/2006 Butterflies are Disappearing


according to brodsky, a tear is a consequence of having to let beauty go.
that is what I love about the fall. that and the blue sky.

08/11/2006 ode to the three most important women of my life


maybe life is something someone can make sense of

08/11/2006 poetry on toast – I like that


we are not measured by what we get
but how we deal with what we lose
we’re defined by opportunities we threw away
and the mistakes we learn to use

08/03/2006 ICA piece statement (of sorts)


we are almost 80% water and still we are thirsty

08/03/2006 surely you can’t expect me to continue on like this..!?


memory makes my mouth
kiss itself with conviction

08/03/2006 gat shemen


the worst part
is the memories
we will never share

08/03/2006 it’s a well known fact


(I love the English language – just wish it liked me)

08/03/2006 from the archives (running out of ideas – tell no one!)


no thought a train
no day the same

08/03/2006 a sad state of affaires


some decisions are made
from the singing of the blood in our veins

08/03/2006 singalong song (let’s hear the ladies…)


but recent times don’t stand up to
the way you were before

08/02/2006 words


to veil and seduce
to beguile and confuse

08/02/2006 you will not see me


you will not see me
but you will see
the jet trails of my escape

08/02/2006 the natives are getting restless


Oh yes, poetry is suffering on the altar of prosaic summer activities (or was that prozaic slumber activities), but then you all seem so informed it’s hard to keep up with my own life…

07/12/2006 1+1=22


Even if the numbers dont add up,
you will find much potential in the calculation.

07/12/2006 I do like to be beside the seaside


your mind has sprung a leak
like an old boat

06/29/2006 forgive and forget


forget the difference friend;
forgetters give what forgivers get

06/27/2006 archeologically yours


for we are mummified
and will turn to sand
in each others arms
if careless



the headsman in me
the axe in you

06/24/2006 you can go there anytime…(the movies of your mind)


fast forward past these inbetweens

06/20/2006 where do the blogs go?


memory is meant to make stronger
not wipe your sense of self out

06/19/2006 dividends


here is 2002 kudos in return for all the kind words
divvy them amongst you in a friendly fashion

06/18/2006 do cusswords make me cooler?


and who am I to tell you what to do
I am just as fucken stuck as you

06/18/2006 sifting and lifting


I immediately had a vision of the ensuing culture that would emerge and I liked it.

06/18/2006 1000 misfits can’t be (in the) wrong (place)


Everyone says fuck you
but no one keeps their word

06/18/2006 sons and daughters of uranus


in fact a lot of the first mixes michael did was better with hindsight,
but at the time and for some reason, I was cocksure.
I simply knew best – now I just know better 😉

06/12/2006 The world has teeth


My own little army of wordspies out there scouring the field!

06/12/2006 wordsprouts, fontvegetables and grammatical gardens


the poet is a vulture
the vulture is a poet

06/11/2006 the way it works


Every book I read I mark every word or line that triggers something in me, and when I finish the book I write them all down in my notebook filed under “lines from literature” so I know where they came from. A book that doesn’t give me lines is not a good book…in my book.

06/11/2006 a gleam in the gloom


“Life has enough torturers as it is, without you going around moonlighting as a Grand Inquisitor against yourself”

06/11/2006 if you’re gonna quote yourself – f***ing get it right!


how will I know myself
if need be

06/10/2006 makes me wonder if I’m really as happy as I think I am


I will steal that line
and give it back to you as mine

06/10/2006 your eyes were green


theres nothing
that can match your rainbow smile

06/10/2006 my southbound mouth


you, my tongue-tied friend

06/10/2006 beyond the tilled plain, beyond the toy roofs


wooden conversation in concrete & glass surroundings

06/08/2006 th elesss aid them ore imp lied?


my body is poisoned
by the presence of you

05/30/2006 a four-page blog in invisible ink



05/29/2006 you say poetato I say potryto


Naturally I was curious as to your comments about ‘black and blue’ demo, but you all know what I like now: undiluted praise.

05/28/2006 new song


Is it a demo, is it a track in the making, is it a finished masterpiece..? Who cares, it’s music.

05/27/2006 this is not the title of this piece the line beneath is


these are the roadsigns
leading bck to where we were

05/27/2006 sharks


you never thought that
keeping my limp body afloat
would put you in harms way

05/23/2006 undo undone


music is the reason we are all here, innit?

05/22/2006 man of the cloth


this world is ink
and I’m a man of paper

05/15/2006 all we are saying…is give codpiece a chance (finally something useful!)


Please be advised that I did in fact not compose this literary masterpiece, but simply stole and copy/pasted it here – under the guise of everyone’s write to borrow ideas from each other.

05/08/2006 the square root of I is I


everyone in the world is a friend
you just don’t want to know

05/07/2006 thoughts for food – will eat


Limitations are road-signs…not the velvet rope of some VIP-section in your mind where you cannot go. And anyway, they are never in the same place when you come back to them again.

05/07/2006 a dot of blackness in the blue of your bliss (…song in progress)


always forever but never like this
there’s a dot of blackness in the blue of your bliss

04/26/2006 making friends was never easier


I now officially have more than 300 friends in here – and here was me downsizing the department; not returning calls, generally being rude or unresponsive, making inappropriate and/or unintelligible comments to everyone – and it was working too!

04/25/2006 blog and blurb = bog and burp…(a book rec. of sorts)


I have been known to stick my neck out once or twice, and I won’t be surprised if I do it again, but these periods are invariably followed by the slowburning acid of self-scrutiny and maudlin moments of doubt…why are the stairs up from the basement getting longer each time?

04/20/2006 transitoria


don’t make it less
than what it was
by pretending it was more
than what it seemed

04/20/2006 flatulatoria (the slightly less self-important version)


we struggle to sit upright
for the obvious reason;
we’re too full of beans

04/07/2006 Past Perfect Future Tense


Some points are strengthened by being made over and over. I don’t know if any of it is important, and I don’t care if it is any good, but at least it’s not trying to hide anything – it’s not trying to score points. I’m proud of that much.

04/07/2006 magne f in quotes


“Sometimes something comes along that just leads you somewhere you did not expect to go and you have very little or no control over it – disasters come wrapped up as gifts, and gifts come disguised as disasters.”